Scapegoat
by Holly Unending
Summary: Maya fools Nick into thinking she’s sick -really, could she fool anyone else?- so she can take the day off. Edgeworth is nominated to take care of her: giant stuffed bears, sugary chick-shaped treats, and randomness abound. EdgeworthxMaya one-shot


**A/N: **What?! It's not NickxMaya?! Madness! Well, This is part of a fic exchange with Mei Syndrome, so please go check out the Klavema fic she wrote for me, too!!

* * *

**Scapegoat**

_For Mei!_

Phoenix insisted that it was Edgeworth's fault, which Edgeworth found hard to believe. After all, hadn't Wright been the one to call him up and beg, "Please, please, please can you just come over and take care of Maya for a few hours while I'm at court? Please, please, please?"

Edgeworth had protested. Surely a 19-year-old woman could take care of herself when she had a little bug.

"Please?"

"Regardless of what your mother told you, Wright, that is_ not_ a magic word. No."

"I'm down on my knees here, Edgeworth! I can't just leave her alone! She looks so, so…_sick!_ Please!"

"But why are you calling _me? _I'm hardly qualified to give medical care."

"It's not like I'm asking you to operate on her or something! You owe me some favors, and she's been talking about seeing you, so please?"

"Oh, _fine._ But only for a few hours." Maya had a bright, cheerful personality and had helped him and Wright dig the truth out on numerous occasions. It was hardly a burden to care for her for a little while. Also Wright was sure to guilt-trip him for the rest of his life if he didn't.

"Thank you, thank you thank you thank you. Man, I would've been worried about her all by herself."

"And I know you weren't really on your knees."

Wright sounded confused. "Why do you say that?"

"Well, not only would it make no difference whatsoever to be since I'm on the phone and can't see you, but you also would have gotten your suit dirty."

Silence. Then he could hear the other man yell, "Pearls, can you get something to wipe off the knees of my suit? And why is there cereal all over the floor?!"

Edgeworth sighed and hung up.

* * *

Twenty minutes later, he found himself at the door of the Wright & Co Law Offices, holding a thick file folder his laptop case so he could hopefully get some work done.

He should have known better, really. It was _Maya_, after all.

He knocked smartly three times and Maya answered the door.

…

"You look normal."

"Uh…thanks, Edgeworth, you look normal too!" She beamed at him like it was some sort of compliment.

"No no, Wright told me you were ill."

"What? That's not- oh, I mean yeah, yeah I am. Very sick. I feel awful." She staggered around a little and clutched her forehead with the hand that wasn't holding a cheeseburger.

"Oh really? What do you have?"

"Stomach flu," the happy explanation came through a mouthful of steaming protein and dairy- not exactly stomach-flu cuisine.

Edgeworth narrowed his eyes at her. "Can I come inside?"

"Sure, make yourself at home."

He shut the door behind him and sighed as he hung his coat up, muttering, "Wright, you're a fool."

"What?"

Following her into the kitchen, he discovered that there really was cereal all over the floor. It appeared to have been there for a while since most of it had become a fine powder. "It's not important. Where's Pearl?"

"At the trial, helping Nick out. Cuz I'm sick."

He decided it would be better not to question how a nine-year-old girl could help a licensed attorney and instead realized- "Maya, you're still in your pajamas!"

"Huh? Oh, yeah." She looked down at nightgown-clad self in vague disinterest. Edgeworth couldn't say he had the same indifference. Just how could that girl keep a shape like that when she ate like she did?

"Could you, er, I mean- put on some clothes?"

She grinned insolently at him. "Maybe if you get me some Peeps."

"What?"

"Peeps! Little yellow chicks, all in a row, marshmallow-y goodness, don't stub your toe-"

"You don't need to make up a song, I'll get them! Just go change!"

He opened cabinets at random until he found a package. Walking into the living room, he set them on a side table and stopped. "Maya."

"Yeah?"

"There is a giant stuffed bear in front of your television set."

Maya poked her head into the room. "So there is. Oh, Peeps!"

"And what do you know about said bear?" She came all the way into the room, sucking on the head of a marshmallow chick and wearing… "My suit jacket?!"

"It's an awesome color," she explained happily, waving the way-too-long sleeves around.

"Er, yes, thank you, but regardless, it's _my _jacket."

She put her bottom lip out a little, pouting. "I like it."

"Pouting just isn't as effective when you have marshmallow on your face." When she said nothing but continued to lick the marshmallow…blob, it couldn't rightfully be called a proper shape at all anymore, Edgeworth sighed and commanded, "Hold still." He wiped it away.

Weird. Yes, stroking her face definitely gave him a weird feeling. Like he couldn't breathe, only in a good way.

"I think _I'm_ getting sick," he muttered to himself.

"That's Edgar," Maya explained, polishing off the last of the blob.

"…I'm sorry, what?"

"Edgar. The bear's name is Edgar."

"…I see." Was all he could think to say. "Can we move it?"

"It's a him, and I don't think Nick would care if we moved it, but it's not good for a sick person to be moving things so I think you should do it." She smiled cheekily at him and plopped down on the couch. "And I'd like another Peep, please."

Manipulative little spirit medium.

Eventually (to Maya's great amusement) Edgeworth managed to move the bear far enough that the TV screen was visible.

"That's going on Youtube for sure," she giggled.

"What is going- wait, you _videotaped_ me moving the bear? Delete that right now!"

"No way! Just think how many hits we'll get: 'Demon Prosecutor Fails to Move Large Bear'! We'll be famous!"

"Don't make me sue you, Maya!"

But she moved awfully fast for a sick person and in the end Edgeworth had to just give up. "Alright, alright, _wheeze wheeze, _let's just watch some television. But I'm warning you, that'd better not show up on _any _website _any_where!"

"Steel Samurai!" She cheered, ignoring his protests.

"Hmm. I was thinking more Discovery Channel."

"I'm sick, so I get to choose," she said defiantly, sticking her tongue out at him.

"And why did you decide to be sick today?" he asked casually as he changed the channel, hoping she would just answer the question without noticing the implication that she was only pretending.

She stared back at him with wide eyes, feigning innocence. "God's the one who decided to make me sick, I don't have that kind of power!"

"Aren't you missing the point a little? The first problem with that logic isn't that you don't 'that kind of power', it's that you wouldn't make yourself sick!"

But she wasn't listening. Again.

"Samurai slap! Victory…is…" Her battle cry was punctuated with a huge yawn; she suddenly fell backwards so her head was in between Edgeworth's shoulder and chest. He stiffened.

"C-can't you sit up properly?"

"Nope," she smirked, and became a little more like a gelatinous substance. Soon her eyes drifted shut and her breathing began to slow, until finally she was completely still. In his arms.

And the strange thing was, the longer she slept (looking perfectly angelic and not sick at all), the more relaxed Edgeworth seemed to feel, until out of nowhere he started to yawn and…found it harder and harder to concentrate…

* * *

"And THAT," Wright explained triumphantly, folded his arms across his chest. "Is why it's your fault!

Edgeworth sighed. "How did you ever win a case? Your logic is ridiculous. So we fell asleep on the couch, it's not a crime! It's hardly my fault that you got slapped since _you_ were the one who begged for me to keep an eye on her in the first place."

"See? I asked you to _keep an eye on her_, not an arm around her! Pearls will never accept this!"

"Since when have I needed the permission of a child to ask a girl out on a date, Wright?"

"I…Wait, a _date?!_"

He hadn't meant to let it slip out like that, but really…

It wasn't his fault.


End file.
